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January 2nd, 2009

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December 6th, 2008

05:43 pm - Soooooo Pissed off!   OMG I actually hate my life!! I'm so pissed off, it's unreal. My friends have completely ignored me, they say they're all busy and I'm always putting in the effort to talk to them. And they don't give a shit!! I won't see my boyfriend for aaages. My Dad does not pay attention to how much effort I put into things. I have no money because my bloody part time job, won't give me a full time job. I'm bloody suicidal. I hate everyone around this area of where i live. I hate EVERYTHING! I'm going to have to bring myself to purge, any suggestions on how to make it easier?! In Pain. English x Current Mood: aggravated

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December 4th, 2008

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December 3rd, 2008

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November 28th, 2008

08:39 am  I <3 a new day. Yay! It's a new day, which means I can start from scratch again. The Plan: Only drink water.  If seriously starving and cannot cope, eat one apple. Sit-Ups while watching TV.   Meant to be seeing boyfriend today. I mean, I saw him yesterday -  isn't that enough? Something really bad is going on and it's driving me nuts. There's a bizarre tension that I can't get over. He's at uni, and complains that I'm doing fuck all at the moment.  But he does not understand, that this will be him next year, when he gets out of uni! I'm just experiencing it earlier, because i'm following my dream, very shortly. He's right I am. But he's telling me what to do with my life as well as controlling me. If I think there's issues, which I do. I tell him (over text - bad idea i know!) But then we try to discuss it later on... and he blames me! It is ALWAYS my fault! "You're just picking a fight." "It's because you're not doing anything".  "Stop thinking!"  Well, I'm thinking... and maybe it's time. Should I dump him?  I'm going to start packing my bag now... Just need someone that understands me!  I will update you on what happens. Lots of Love English xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx         Current Location: Snuggly Bed I never want to leave Current Mood: crushed Current Music: This Years Love - David Gray

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November 27th, 2008

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09:14 pm - Getting into this...  My life is going all BLAAHHHH! I'm not attending school/ college whatever you wanna call it! Meant to be getting a full time job! Ruddy Credit Crunch! I have binged all day - so tempted to purge! I'm having doubts about my relationship.  Got to go to a black tie dinner next week and need to dramatically loose weight and buy a stunning dress to fit in with these rich kids!  Mum has dissapeared from my life again. While my dad has fun and games in Madrid for "work!" I need new mates, cos mine have buggered off!! Not giving a shit! Tada! Sorry to bore you! x x x x Current Mood: aggravated

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08:51 pm - About me... The Personals Age: 17 Weight: 9 St Highest Weight: 9 St Lowest Weight: 7 St 5  Goal: 7 - 6 St  Fave Food: Celery Fave Drink: Red Bull Fave Exercise: Running Thinspo: That girl in my head. Where do you slip up? When travelling, or after a run. When did it start? At a very young age... Why did it start? Family, lack of control. Does anyone know? No Do you want help? No Diet Pills? Yes please! Fave Binge food: Toffee Fave Dieting food: celery what do you see when you look in the mirror? A disgusting fat creature! Are you in a relationship? Yes Do they pressure you to be thin? No, he's the one that gauges in front of me!! Are you depressed? Yes, when i'm faking that i'm happy!  Do you self harm? used to.  Ever tried to commit suicide? yes. Been to a psychologist? Yes, a few times. Fave Song? Ask me again after i have Britney Spears album! lol! X Current Location: Sitting Room Current Mood: crappy Tags: binge alone pain fake

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September 24th, 2008

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